For one, the materialistic world that we live in today seems to have our minds occupied with micromanaging every single second of every single day. Even those of us that are considered laid-back, can still become very uncomfortable when it comes to life's stressors. We are so controlled by the materials of this world. So much of our time is wasted upon making decisions and worrying about things that really don't matter.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I was able to celebrate with an amazing family. After trying to turn down the invitation about three hundred forty seven times, I finally and hesitantly agreed to spend Thanksgiving with my best friend and his family. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE his family and they know me well as I have spent many nights there... I just wasn't sure I was ready to barge into another family event. I'm not a part of the family and I have difficulty accepting acts of care and kindness from others.
So sure enough, on Wednesday we pile our bags into the bag the silver Impala and start the trek to the house. Even though I've been to the house a handful of times, I always get that awkward nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach that questions my entire life's existence and purpose... "What am I doing?" "Why would they want me to be a part of their celebration?" "What if I do something stupid?" "What if I get asked questions that I don't want to answer?" ... those are just examples of the least irrational thoughts that went through my mind. I don't know what it is about me, but I have a difficult time shutting my mind off and just going with the flow. My friend assures me things will be fine (because they are always fine; in fact, they are always more than fine).
I tend to feel almost inadequate in certain situations, not because people have said or done anything to make me feel that way. But I think it is due to my desire to be liked for who I am and not for what I've been through. The joy and family relationships that I have seen through this family provide me hope and make me so ecstatic to be a part of it all.
We arrive at the house, and the only people home at first are his brothers. Watching the joy on their faces and seeing them embrace makes my heart smile. Everyone in their family truly enjoys and appreciates one another. There's something about family that makes it all a little easier. Sitting around a table, playing a game, and just enjoying each other's company. (Even if the game we played dealt with math.. and I am not great at math). They really are an amazing family. A mother who makes sure everything is in place and everyone is doing okay. She has this way of bringing a smile to your face and going out of her way to welcome anyone and everyone. A father who can make you laugh at any moment whether you want to or not. He genuinely cares about people and is so nonchalant about how much they do for me when they open their home to me and cook delicious food. Three sons. Two of which have just adopted me as their sister whom they love and mess with. They're great. So great. And then there's the oldest son.. my best friend. I love him and hate him all in one. For the most part he knows me better than anyone else, though he may not understand why I am the way that I am.. he accepts it and continues to welcome home with him on most occasions.
All in all, I guess what all this has made me realize.. is that it's okay if things don't go as planned. It's perfectly fine for you to change up how you normally do things. Also, (I say this more for myself than for you..) STOP TRYING TO CONTROL EVERYTHING.. just hand it over to God. Although this is not how I envisioned my Thanksgiving, or really any aspect of my life at this point.. I am incredibly amazed and continually surprised at how life ALWAYS works out. Stop worrying about things that you can't control.
How was your Thanksgiving!?
Until next time,
Hand it over.
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